Archive for February, 2017

Christian and Muslim Youth in Nigeria Experience True Love through CARP Workshop

Contributed by Godson Ogurie, CARP Nigeria

Nigeria, with a total of over 250 ethnic groups, is one of the most ethnically diverse nations in Africa. Despite this ethnic diversity, it is mostly bi-religious, where its people are either Christian or Muslim.  The remaining four percent comprises of other indigenous religions and non-believers. Due to this, we have given much thought on how to bring people of these two major religions together and convey to them the ideals of true love and unity with the hope of improving our nation. In taking a bold step to this endeavor, CARP Nigeria held its 2nd 7-day Divine Principle workshop where participants from both Christian and Islamic backgrounds were invited.

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The workshop was held at the Peace Embassy in Abuja from December 18th to 25th, 2016 with the theme, “Become Global Leaders who are Representatives of True Parents.” The workshop had a total of 25 participants which included 17 students from the University of Abuja community and eight core CARP staff. The workshop was organized for CARP members who were unable to participate in the previous 7-day workshop.

The aim of the workshop was to get participants fully acquainted with the Divine Principle and the role of young people in building a new Nigeria centering on the teachings of Father and Mother Moon as the True Parents of humankind. Another major intention of this workshop was to raise up core members from various religions who could work together. We tried to do this not only by educating them with the Divine Principle but by encouraging experiences of sharing, working together, and fostering an attitude of acceptance towards one another despite individual, religious, or ethnic differences.

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During the workshop, participants were grouped into four teams, each bearing a letter in the team name from the acronym C-A-R-P.  A typical day included morning devotion, exercise, cleaning, 3-4 lectures and recreational activities. We had great lecturers like Rev. Moses Akaahan and Rev. Sunday Uke who gave insightful presentations on the Principle as well as Rev. Shang Seong Park who taught Father and Mother Moon’s  life course and the significance of the marriage blessing in unifying the world. Recreational activities in the evenings offered time for fun after listening to lectures all day and included indoor games, team sport activities, movies, A STEP UP session or family night with Open Mic and team entertainment performances.

The success of this workshop did not come without its own share of challenges. Raising the necessary funds for the workshop to run successfully took a great deal of investment on the part of the core staff who began fundraising for the workshop a month in advance.  It was not easy to fund an entire seminar like this especially in a nation currently faced with economic recession. But through the determination and dedication of our core staff headed by Mr. Bok Jin Lee, Nigeria’s Youth Special Envoy, we raised enough funds to make this workshop a reality. It was also challenging to create and plan a workshop that would be meaningful to everyone and bring unity regardless of religious background.

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One of the highlights of this workshop was the ‘True Love Sharing Ceremony’ that was held on the final evening of the workshop. Half of the participants sat on the floor with their eyes closed and the rest of the participants stood around and proceeded to show love to the seated participants through non-verbal gestures such as hugs, pats on the back and brief shoulder massages. The participants then switch so that everyone gets a chance to be appreciated. The participants were moved by the love they were receiving and many tears were shed. It was a beautiful moment.

This workshop showed us that there is no better time than now to spread positivity and true love to young people around the country. Many participants expressed interest in learning more so that they could also reach out to other young people of both Christian and Islamic backgrounds and work together to bring hope to Nigeria.

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Testimonies from participants:

“People might think that the Divine Principle is some kind of religion but what I understood about it is that it is much closer to peace than religion and it tries to bring religions together to achieve  global unification. It should be spread around the world. When I came here first, I just expected some activities about youth empowerment and normally I don’t get emotional. But the people I met here made me feel the relationship as brothers and sisters. Even though we come from different religions and cultures, there was no fighting and everybody understood each other like one family. Yesterday, when we had True love sharing, I shed tears. They really touched my heart. Now, I’m going to try my best, not just keep this experience for myself. I will share it to other people and try to bring them closer to CARP and make them understand Divine Principle. It tries to bring all religions together because there is no religion to teach about what is True. So with True peace and True love, that’s what we are going to use to bring everyone closer to the Divine Principle.” – Abduljaleel Abdulkarim

“Wonderful always, but this particular 7-day workshop actually changed my life completely. I think I have been able to make the right decisions, having seen, listened to, read, and watched True Parent’s life history. Honestly, Father Moon is a great and true leader to follow and work with. Also his life is a history lived just for the sake of others. Not for him and his family alone. Nobody can do that like him. Thank you True Parents. I promise to follow your path.” – Joseph Nkwo

“I learned many things during the last 7 -days of this workshop and in this workshop, too. In fact during this workshop I learned how to appreciate God and all  He created as well as how to show love to others. I had the was privileged of teaching Divine Principle to other young people prior to now. I felt right and I am so happy about it. I always reflect on my biggest dream which is to serve God and work for Him and to also make Him happy. I don’t regret studying Divine Principle. I want to be a global leader and live a selfless life. Also I want to teach people the Divine Principle.” Miracle Moses

For more information, photos, and details of CARP Nigeria’s recent and past activities, visit and like our Facebook fan page at “CARP Nigeria.”

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Music in Pursuit of a Culture of Peace

An interview with CARP alumnus and composer, David Eaton. 

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David Eaton has been the music director of the New York City Symphony since 1985. During his tenure he has led the orchestra in concerts at Lincoln Center, Carnegie Hall, the Manhattan Center, The Apollo Theater, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and the United Nations. As a guest conductor and composer, he has performed his own compositions and arrangements with orchestras in the United States, Europe, Asia, Canada, Israel, Russia, Ukraine, and Central and South America. David recently accepted a position as Music Chairman of the Hyojeong Cultural Committee.

Through music I experienced truth, beauty, and goodness; I intuited that music was a way that God could speak to our hearts and I firmly believed that being a musician was (or could be) a way both to find tranquility and to influence the world in an altruistic fashion.

DESCRIBE YOUR JOURNEY TO CARP AND YOUR ACTIVITIES WITHIN CARP.

I joined CARP in 1979 when Father Moon directed that certain members of the Performing Arts Department work alongside women who had participated in the 1800 Couple’s Holy Marriage Blessing on campus to educate students about the dangers of Communist expansion.

This was a time when President Carter was seen as being weak on the issue of Soviet hegemony, so Father Moon felt that is was an important condition to mobilize Unification Church members to participate in CARP. I was one of about 40 performing arts Unification Church members that were selected to join CARP as part of this initiative that took place from 1979 through 1981.

318046_10150925751638580_479610053_nCARP concert at California State University, Northridge, 1980.

Under then CARP president Tiger Park’s direction, we formed three bands to travel to campuses for a week or two at a time. The bands, Prime Force, Blue Tuna, and The Front Group, would perform on campus with the focus of witnessing and rallying. We also did a great deal of fundraising to support our activities.

During the summer months, we participated in 40 days of outreach at local CARP centers around the country. We launched these conditions with “Youth and Truth” workshops in Boulder, Colorado, under Tiger Park’s guidance.

WHAT WAS CARP LIKE BACK THEN?

Because Tiger Park was living in the Los Angeles area, there was quite a bit of CARP activity on campuses in California. There were CARP centers in Los Angeles, Santa Barbara, and San Francisco.

Usually there were several students living in the CARP centers so when we arrived with our performing groups there was a great deal of excitement generated. Sometimes it was difficult to balance rehearsing, witnessing, rallying, and fundraising, but somehow we found a way to get everything done.

389064_10150925753208580_859546550_nEvening evangelical program performance at the Columbia CARP center in New York, 1980.

In addition to our vans, we also had a large, modern bus in which we traveled across the United States as part of several concert/ witnessing tours. We would witness during the day to bring contacts to evening programs that would feature performances by our bands.

We would also participate in anti-Communist rallies on campuses from coast to coast. When there was a major church holiday, Father Moon would have our band come to New York to perform; we crisscrossed the country several times, often fundraising along the way.

WHAT WERE THE BIG ISSUES ON CAMPUS BACK THEN?

In the 1970s, there were many young people who were greatly affected by the “sexual revolution” and the so-called dawning of “The Age of Aquarius.” As a result there was a sense of idealism among “seekers” who set out to find peace and love. Music acted as the soundtrack for that era and for my generation – the so-called baby-boomers.

Our love of music became a quasi-religion. “Make love, not war” was our credo; sex and drugs were our sacraments, and Rock and Roll was the music that accompanied the liturgy.

The spirit of rebellion and defiance was everywhere, especially in music. The “Free Love” generation and its music literally rocked the suburban comforts of post-World War II America; a deconstructionist mindset engulfed the period, challenging traditional views of family, society, authority, sexuality, art, politics, entertainment, and religion. Campuses were seen to be particularly vulnerable to this new ideology.

The big issue that Father Moon was concerned about was Communist expansion in Central and South America. The late 1970s and early 1980s was a period when there was heightened Communist activity in Nicaragua and El Salvador.

269218_10150925771568580_1359748685_nDavid Eaton demonstrating against communism at Georgia State University in Atlanta, 1980.

There were many Communist activists on campuses and with college faculty members becoming increasingly entrenched in left-wing ideologies, there was a great deal of sympathy for Communist expansion in the Western hemisphere. Father Moon correctly understood that the dissolution of traditional values presented a problem for society.

When we held anti-Communist rallies, the atmosphere could be highly charged, and it wasn’t uncommon to have eggs thrown at us while we were performing. I still have egg on one of my musical instrument cases from a rally in Madison, Wisconsin.

Of course, our movement was also viewed as being highly controversial, and though we were frequently accused for being “interlopers,” we felt that we were doing a service to our country by alerting students to the threat of Soviet expansion. Since this was a major concern for Father Moon, we felt dedicated to the effort to “wake up” the student population.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU HAVE FOR CARPIES TODAY?

Read, read, and read some more. Sir Francis Bacon made the assertion that “reading makes a full man, conference a ready man and writing an exact man.” He wasn’t wrong, either. (But he may have been a bit chauvinist).

The study of the humanities is important, because the humanities have the ability to “humanize.” Many sociologists argue otherwise, but my experience and intuition tell me that the great artistic achievements of the past can provide many insights to the human condition. Schiller called this “aesthetic education.”

UN_70AnnivConcert_RobertDavi_6.30.2015David Eaton performs with actor/singer Robert Davi and the New York City Symphony at the United Nations’ 70th Anniversary concert on June 30, 2015.

The truth/beauty/goodness paradigm as espoused in the Divine Principle has great value in pursuit of a culture of peace. Get to know your cultural patrimony (the things that one generation has inherited from its ancestors). Reading will give you a greater depth of understanding about history, art, education, politics, media, economics, etc. Reading will give you perspective.

Since the “RP” in the CARP acronym means “Research of Principles,” it’s important to develop greater comprehension of the principles we espouse as well as those that we object to.

Reading also increases one’s focus and discipline; it fosters long-term thinking and longer attention spans. It’s also important to read daily from the “eight text books” that True Parents have bequeathed to us.

Every time I read Father’s words, I come away with some new insight about God, the providence and the importance of staying connected to our heavenly parent. This is an important part of understanding our cultural patrimony. When we witness, we need to have a firm understanding of our beliefs as well as the ability to defend them.

Check out some further reading by David Eaton on Applied Unificationsim, a blog of Unification Theological Seminary (UTS). 

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Feeding a Starving Community

Here’s a student highlight story on Kristin Anthonis from CARP Kansas.

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Meet Kristin, an enthusiastic communicator with an entrepreneurial spirit and a global edge. She is only 23 years old and has already developed a youth and young adult ministry in her Kansas community while attending university with a plethora of international experience under her belt.

Daughter to a Belgian father and an American mother, born in New York with a number of childhood years spent in Uruguay, Kristin comes from a diverse background. As a student of Dietetics, Kristin hopes to become a registered dietitian and help people nurture their external and internal well being.

familyFamily photo (left to right): mother, Kristin, brother, and father. 

Following two years at Generation Peace Academy (GPA), Kristin started thinking about how she could care for her community.

“Two core organizations that make a community function well are youth and young adult groups.”

From Momentum to Engagement

Kristin assumed the role of Youth and Young Adult Pastor after completing GPA in June 2014. She found that she was trying to feed a “starving” community.  

“We have these kids and no one is taking care of them.”

In August of 2014, Kristin decided to attend a CARP Momentum event, which is an international convention for college students to develop personal confidence and clarity, practical skills, and gain a support network. Momentum 2014 was an inspiring and memorable experience.

momentum_2014Group photo at the conclusion of CARP Momentum 2014. 

“This was the first CARP convention I had ever been to and it was impacting, with a lot of wonderful activities. I was really inspired, but I didn’t think I had the means to start my own chapter on campus, so instead I focused on the youth and young adults in my faith community.”

With a newfound inspiration from the convention, Kristin set out to establish a youth program for the kids and a young adult ministry called YAM. She initiated all this as she was starting to attend college that Fall.

Kristin organized monthly youth meetings with the support of the National Youth Pastor, Kaeleigh Moffit, who had set up a system and resources for youth pastors across the country to implement.

While Kristin had a support system for her youth program initiative, she didn’t have many resources to develop and sustain a young adult ministry. 

momentum_2016Kristin (middle) listening to a presentation during CARP Momentum 2016. 

In January 2016, Kristin decided to attend another CARP Momentum event to find inspiration and support for her YAM initiative especially. There, she had some insights.

“I got the realization that as much as I wanted to set up a CARP chapter the way it is typically done on a campus setting, I felt our YAM community could really benefit from implementing CARP principles, even if I had to change the image of CARP a little bit.”

So, she set out to convert YAM into a CARP community chapter. Similar to the youth program support system, Kristin found a wealth of resources and ideas for engaging the young adults by plugging her YAM community into CARP’s mission and principles.

kansas_CARPA young adult outing at an outdoor concert featuring Carly Rae Jepsen. 

CARP Kansas meets every first Sunday of the month. A typical meeting looks just like a CARP campus chapter meeting – the members do a check-in, a young adult member gives a CARP Talk around one of the seven Unification Principles, and then there is discussion and sometimes other activities.

These CARP meetings are open to college-aged young adults. On average, seven or eight young adults gather at these monthly meetings and sometimes someone will bring a friend. 

Balancing Life with Coaching

Accountability is key to maintaining consistency. In starting up her community CARP chapter, Kristin decided to get CARP coaching for greater accountability.

A weekly coaching session for three months helped Kristin to jump back into the public sphere after some months of not initiating meetings for the youth program or CARP. “As time passes, it gets more and more difficult to start up again,” but coaching really helped Kristin to re-determine herself to her public mission.  

Balancing studies, relationships, and a public mission to engage the youth and young adults can be challenging, but achievable.

“Through coaching, I realized I needed to share responsibility with others. I learned the value of trusting people, that interdependence is a higher value than independence.”  

dresden_germanyKristin biking through Dresden, Germany in Summer 2016. 

It’s important to maintain a healthy personal lifestyle in order to consistently contribute to a public mission. Coaching also offered Kristin the opportunity to hone in on some important personal goals that would help her maintain a healthy and happy lifestyle.

This, in turn, helped to sustain her public mission to engage the youth and young adults in her community.

Love like a Global CItizen

Since GPA, Kristin has felt such a profound heart for God and Father and Mother Moon. Now, she truly wants to connect other people to that same heart and the Divine Principle teachings.

Whether someone or some community is starving spiritually or physically, they can benefit from people like Kristin who truly believe in the teachings to live for the sake of others and to love like a global citizen. 

CARP’s mission statement is “to inspire and empower students to be global citizens by engaging them in the study and application of Unification Principles.” Kristin invests a lot of her time to materializing this mission in her public work for the youth and young adults. 

kristin_peruKristin on a service trip to Peru helping to beautify a playground for the children of the community. 

The portion of the mission that Kristin is truly passionate about is the emphasis on developing young adults into “global citizens.” 

“A global citizen is someone who cares about everyone in the world as One Family Under God by doing what you can to love and serve the members of God’s family.”

Her advice is to start small. Like Father Moon always emphasized, you must conquer yourself then conquer the world. Through personal growth, we can grow our capacity to love and then truly contribute.

This contribution starts in the family, then the community, and finally the world. It’s a ripple effect.

The Unification Principles offer the tools to feed a starving person or community on campus and across the world. But practice makes perfect so it’s important to exercise these principles. 

muralA mosaic wall at a university in Honduras that Kristin helped create out of tiles which she and the service group shaped and affixed by hand.

How can you believe in One Family Under God?

“You need to travel in order to understand the greater world you live in and the experience of all members of God’s family. Only by knowing and experiencing the world can you love all of God’s children as a true global citizen and as one family.”

Practice loving like a global citizen by joining CARP on an exchange trip this spring break.

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How to Brand Your Awesomeness: Resume Tips

By Katya Beebe

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With spring break just around the corner and summer internship postings up, it’s an excellent time to find opportunities out there and prepare yourself well to get them.  

For the upcoming spring break especially, look for opportunities to go abroad as it will give you a global edge on your resume and offer invaluable insights to your worldview.

CARP’s mission statement emphasizes that students become global citizens. The skills of a global citizen are best acquired through an international experience, which is why CARP is organizing international exchange trips for spring break 2017 for any college student ready to go on an adventure and develop their communication skills, adaptability, and global awareness.  

Before even starting the application process, you need to figure out what you’re looking for in an internship or job (we recommend using the WISER goal-setting method for additional help).

Once you know have an idea and some tangible opportunities in front of you, it’s time to organize your resume, which is the prominent way to showcase who you are to the world.

The Resume Landscape Today

A resume is an account of your education, qualifications, and previous experience. It is a marketing document intended for a prospective employer or educator to get to know you. The general rule is that a resume needs to be concise and clear so include exactly what you need to communicate.

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A recent study on recruiter decision-making found that recruiters spend only 6 seconds reviewing an individual resume. This clearly indicates two things:

  • Your resume needs to pop, and
  • Your resume needs to be easy on the eyes.

A solution to the first point is to add some “subtle” color to your resume. As for the second point, you need to pay attention to the layout of your resume, the font you are using, and the type of resume format you are using (that makes sense for your industry).

A functional resume is a good place to start – where you don’t include all your experiences, just the most relevant ones.

Alternatively, a chronological resume might be a good fit if you don’t have your heart set on an industry, in which case you include all your experiences in chronological order starting from the most recent and working backwards.

It can be daunting to start a resume or even to update one. It’s a difficult task, but a marginally important one to increase your chances of landing your dream job (or any job for that matter). This is a sample resume that includes helpful suggestions for college students just entering the world of internships or entry-level jobs. 

1. Digitize your contact information

Make it as easy as possible for potential employers to contact you. By hyperlinking your email address and LinkedIn profile, you are just one click away from getting an interview. If you include your home address, only include your city, state, and zip code to protect yourself from identity theft. Use active links for any other social media links you may have that are relevant to your employer.

2. Provide a clear, concise statement  

Here is where you provide a summary statement characterizing your experience and employment goals. This should relate to the job you are applying to. As a college student, it is unlikely that you will hold a full time position for an established employer so providing a summary statement reflecting your career interests is helpful.

However, it is highly recommended to replace the summary header with a header of your area of expertise followed by a professional synopsis that states your years of experience, job history, and big career achievements once you have them.

3. Keep your education at the top

As a current student with little professional experience, it’s best to showcase your education closer to the top of the resume. The rule of thumb is to keep your education closer to the top with details like GPA, honors and distinctions, and relevant courses or projects as long it adds value. Typically, the more professional experience you gain post college, the less relevant your college details will become. In that case, stick your education towards the end of your resume with details limited to degree specifications and certificates.

4. Tell them about your relevant activities

Chances are, if you’re in college, you are not only undergoing coursework, but you are also involved in clubs and volunteer opportunities. Put these down as long as they are relevant to the job you are applying to. Be creative and think of task descriptions for the work you did for a club or organization and your position with these groups, i.e. the sample resume includes experience at “The Global Current” which is a campus radio club, but the wording illustrates the club duties as a professional job experience. This will show your employer that you are thinking like a professional even if the experience technically isn’t.

5. Describe what you did, not what you are

For each relevant experience, use action verbs to describe the tasks you performed. Be sure to explain what you did and not your title or job description. Specific and measurable achievements (data, money, time, etc.) where possible shows tangible results. Try to keep the descriptions to one line per bullet and 2-4 bullet points.

Many companies out there use software to sift through the hundreds of resumes they receive so make sure to use the right industry keywords. You can also mirror the language of the job posting for a higher chance of beating the machine. Employers want to know you did your research.

6. Include some global edge

In an increasingly internationalized world, employers are looking for candidates with a global mindset based on experience living, working, or even volunteering abroad. Include in your Relevant Experience section some international experience whether it’s a week-long service project or a 3-month internship/volunteership abroad and the unique skills you developed.

Alternatively, you can include a study abroad experience in your Education section with a bullet point or two about its impact on your studies whether you took some interesting, eye-opening courses or participated in various field trips.  

If you do not have any international experience, it’s highly recommended to look for those opportunities, whether it’s with CARP’s international exchange programs, the international office on your campus, or with some other organization. This experience will put you ahead of the competition.

7. Finish off with some “special” skills

Employers may want to know you have other skills that can be useful. Display your language skills, technological skills, and even your relevant interests such as a subscription to an organization’s newsletter or a news outlet. Do not include skills that are flagged important for the job posting since these should be highlighted in your Relevant Experience section. These should be additional skills that you may not have had the chance to use in a professional environment just yet or that are minor to the job posting. 

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Final Notes

Once again, resume-building takes time, effort, and skill so remember to constantly review and improve your resume as you acquire new experiences and skill sets. Taking the time to prepare every detail of your resume will also better equip you for interviews to follow since you will have the language to effectively explain your qualifications and experience. 

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Fact and Fiction about Relationships in College

By Katya Beebe

Closeup of couple making heart shape with hands

Love is the answer,

At least for most of the questions in my heart

Like why are we here? And where do we go?

And how come it’s so hard?

It’s not always easy and

Sometimes life can be deceiving

I’ll tell you one thing, it’s always better when we’re together”

Jack Johnson’s lyrics sing about being in a loving, (probably long-term) relationship where the two are better together. Many of us want to be in a genuine, committed relationship at some point, but does this idea translate into a college environment?

Looking at the current climate of college students and relationships today, it seems that college students prefer shorter, more casual relationships over long-term relationships because it lets them focus on their academics and other aspects of their life.

Check out this inforgraphic of surprising statistics about relationships in college.

According to a recent study by the American Psychological Association (APA), between 60 and 80 percent of North American college students have had some sort of hookup experience, even though 63 percent of college-age men and 83 percent of college-age women prefer a traditional relationship to an uncommitted sexual one.

These two sets of statistics just don’t add up. An indicator could be that the culture on college campuses emphasizes a lifestyle of independence to focus on academic success, which would support the statistics in the inforgraphic. 

There is a very real concern for college students that a long-term relationship can derail their academic and career pursuits. But is it really reasonable to say that shorter, casual relationships allow for greater focus on academics and other priorities?

The Case for Long-Term Relationships

Some myths around long-term relationships in college is that they lack the fun element, they dictate your academic and career choices, and they are not likely to last. Instead, long-term relationships can offer stability, comfort, growth, fun and in college, even a push to do better in your studies.

We asked seven individuals who were in committed relationships while studying in college about their experience and here are the challenges and benefits they highlighted. 

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When asked how challenging it was to be in a relationship while studying, we got a mixed response, with some choosing not challenging and challenging. None of the individuals chose very challenging.

Some challenges to being in a long-term relationship were

  • daydreaming and lacking some focus on assignments,
  • time and physical constraints with long-distance, and
  • assigning a schedule to the relationship.

These challenges might seem counter-constructive to one’s personal growth since there is another person to continuously keep in mind. 

This is why the benefits shouldn’t be overlooked to understand why someone would choose to be in a long-term relationship while studying.

Interestingly, the benefits were essentially the same  for the seven participants in this survey. When asked how helpful it was to be in a relationship while studying, every participant but one stated that it was helpful (the other one participant chose very helpful and none chose not helpful).

The overall benefit to being in a long-term relationship is having a consistent partner for emotional support and someone who will push you to do better. The participants felt they were better together.

In the stressful moments during exam periods, final assignment due dates, and internship application season, having someone who is just as interested in your success as you can be reassuring, comforting, and even motivating.

The benefit of having a trusted, supportive partner outweighs the challenges of finding ways to keep the relationship energized and nurtured for these individuals who chose this alternative to short-term, casual relationships. 

You Choose Your Distractions

Naturally, as a college student, you want to do well in your studies, discover your career path, and maybe even explore other extracurricular activities that campus hubs offer. Having relationships are another natural disposition for college-aged young adults.

It’s a game of time management in the end. It takes some good sense of your time and what it’s worth to figure out what to fill it with. 

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Casual, short-term relationships might seem like a great compliment to this time management issue since one would think you are limiting your time and effort for a romantic relationship (effectively placing long-term commitment in Box 4). 

But let’s consider these relationships a little more deeply. There is such as thing as hookup regret with negative side effects such as lower self-esteem, increased anxiety, and disappointment. As an important side note, the hookup culture has an even more negative affect on women and is often characterized as a pressuring environment.

Dealing with a breakup is also taxing on a person’s emotions so your time and effort doesn’t end with the termination of a short-term relationship. 

There’s no denying that the stress of these scenarios drains students emotionally, which can affect their academic success. Yet, some students come to think that casual, temporary relationships won’t distract them in their academic pursuits. 

Relationships – whether a casual, short-term one or a serious, long-term one – are distracting. But so is Netflix, social media, and the web, but we try to manage our time to include these luxuries because we recognize that these make us happy to some extent.

Some distractions are better than others. The seven participants of the survey expressed their willingness to be distracted by a long-term relationship because the benefits outweighed the challenges.

A committed relationship offers emotional stability and the constant support of another person, which helps drive one’s success in other areas of life, including in academics. But, it takes time and effort to maintain that stability. A series of short-term relationships, in the long term, might take just as much time and effort but with little to no benefits.

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Advice (for those in a long-term relationship)

  • Involve your significant other in your studies and extracurricular activities so that he/she has a chance to take an interest in your goals and objectives. This way, he/she can be even more supportive and help you achieve those goals. Who knows, maybe even bouncing some ideas off one another could lead to some great insights! And, of course, vice versa.

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  • Carve out some intentional time for your relationship, whether it’s a weekend skype session, a daily phone call, or regular dates. A relationship can do wonders in supporting and uplifting you personally, but you need to reciprocate to the other person and the relationship.
  • Confront your couple’s challenges with the help of experts like Drs Les and Leslie Parrott (“Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts”), all the while keeping a sense of humor. We can’t laugh enough!

Advice (for those not in a relationship)

  • Of course it’s okay to be riding the single train. A relationship will be all the more challenging the less you know about yourself. College is a perfect time to discover yourself and if you aren’t in place to take on a long-term relationship, that is a wise thing to understand about yourself.
  • Immersing yourself in a hookup culture or even a casual, temporary relationship for your convenience will probably not yield the best results for you and your goals either.
  • Find ways to develop good relationship-building habits. It’s important to focus on academics and your professional growth, but it’s equally as important to cultivate solid, genuine relationships since these are the cornerstone to a life-long happiness.

At CARP, we promote a culture where we can develop genuine relationships through sincere, selfless interaction (one of the core principles). You can, too.

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