Contributed by Ryota Naito
Marriage. Family. Sexuality. There are many different opinions and perspectives about each of these topics—and the university has become a hotbed to converse about them.
CARP has our perspectives on them as well. And to sharpen our thoughts on them, a few representatives spent a weekend in Princeton, New Jersey from October 28th to 29th for an annual conference hosted by the Love & Fidelity Network (LFN) called Sexuality, Integrity, and the University (SIU). National CARP has been attending their SIU conferences annually for over five years now, building partnerships with LFN staff and presenters including LFN executive director Alain Oliver, who spoke at an event hosted by CARP New Jersey in 2019. This year, ten CARP student representatives from the Bay Area, Boston, Florida, Las Vegas, and New Jersey chapters came to attend, as well as six CARP staff and board members, alumni, and supporters.
The conference aims to empower college students to share the message of love and fidelity by equipping them with research and arguments on the value of marriage, family, and sexual integrity. Various presentations were given on these topics from many accomplished speakers, each followed by a Q&A session. Over 80 students primarily from Ivy League schools and different Christian denominations came together.
Blair welcomes everyone to the conference.
The conference began with a welcome from the moderator, Mrs. Angela Blair. She shared about her decision to wait until marriage and the journey that followed. Driven by her adventurous spirit and a calling to be open to ways that she may meet her life partner, Blair signed up for a reality T.V. show called “Ready for Love” where she expressed and remained true to her stance on abstinence. Despite her countercultural stance, she ended up winning the series. Blair kept her commitment and eventually married a former MLB player who also waited until marriage.
After her introduction, Blair welcomed up the first presentation given by advocate and author Katy Faust. Her talk highlighted how people’s decision to get married or divorced is contingent upon their personal happiness rather than the happiness and livelihood of their children. She asserted that the children’s rights should be considered first. Faust emphasized that the potential for safety and feeling loved as a child is maximized when there is a biological father and a mother present in raising them.
“I loved how Faust outlined how we've come to our current standards of parenting through a cultural, technological, and legal standpoint. She pointed out that what has not changed are the children, as well as the unique roles which both father and mother provide as parents. She spoke clearly on how if the burden is not placed on parents improving themselves, it will automatically be put on the children.” - Junta Naito, UC Berkeley graduate
“ What I understood from her research is that children who grew up without the love and care of their direct, biological parents had their rights violated. In relation to CARP's perspective, I believe that children need both biological parents in the same household in order to grow to become a child who can discover their true identity as a child of God.” - Keisetsu Nakamura, senior at the New Jersey Institute of Technology
“The first presentation by Katy Faust was the most impactful presentation in my opinion. In her presentation, she approached the issue of sexual immorality from a children's rights perspective. As someone in the education field, it really resonated with me and the work I do.” - Luc Jean, sophomore at UMass Boston
The evening session closed with a Q&A and announcements for the following day.
Dr. Hawkins shares his research.
The next day was packed with more rich content. After a plentiful breakfast, the participants got back into learning. The first speaker was Brigham Young University professor Dr. Alan Hawkins. He talked about how there is a tendency now for people to see marriage as a “capstone,” an end goal to accomplish, rather than as a “cornerstone,” as the foundation for what’s to come in our lives. His research focused on comparing findings between earlier and later married couples; it did not reveal significant differences but showed more favorable results for the earlier marriages such as how early-marriage couples experience more marital and sexual satisfaction.
The second speaker was Dr. Catherine Palaluk from the Catholic University of America. Palaluk shared her findings of interviewing families across America who had more than five children. She asked about their motivations for having many children, how happy they are with their decisions, and more surrounding the topic. Many of the anecdotal testimonies she shared revealed how despite the difficulties raising more children can bring, the families, especially the mothers, experienced greater happiness.
Following the two morning presentations, the participants went to lunch and had more opportunities to connect.
After lunch, the students received special remarks from Dr. Robert George of Princeton University. He shared his upbringing living through the Cold War believing that communism will always exist, but to his shock, the Soviet Union fell in his lifetime. His experience resembled how it may seem unimaginable or impossible for the college campus culture to change in our own life, but it is actually possible. Dr. George said that things can change over time, but leaders must stand up to bear the sacrifice. He encouraged the students to “be determined truth-seekers and courageous truth-speakers.”
“Dr. Robert George's talk felt like an inaugural address, or a speech given by a colonel to his army of men; I felt it instilled hope and courage in me.” - Lisa Regidor, sophomore at the College of Southern Nevada
CARP Princeton president Yujin Angolio asks a question to Dr. George.
Dr. George’s talk was well-positioned before the third talk given by Dr. Carl R. Trueman, professor at Grove City College. He spoke on having a long-term mentality especially in the mission that the students are standing for. Trueman shared to them that their mission is to remain faithful to their mission, and acknowledged that their mission may take more than a lifetime.
“... what stood out from his [talk] was when he said that he's probably not going to see his fight won in his lifetime, or the next generation's but still has faith and will continue to fight for the future. And honestly I think that brought me a lot of hope in what we're doing as CARP… things cannot change so quickly, it's just not possible, but it will take time, hard work, faith and perseverance. And I think that is what I will take with me the most from this conference.” - Lisa Regidor, sophomore at the College of Southern Nevada
The last presentation was given by Dr. Anthony Bradley of The King’s College. “Fathers are the most important men in any community,” Dr. Bradley said to begin his talk. He shared that any male who will be a father one day is destined for goodness. He evidenced that by showing how the absence of fathers is the cause of many pathological issues in our society. Bradley concluded by saying that good fathers are the solution to these social ills.
“In my opinion, the necessity of fatherhood and what healthy fathering looks like is not talked about enough. Especially as I aspire to be a father myself, it helped me to understand deeper the best practices of fathering, and how in effect, I am helping to resolve various social issues.” - Junta Naito, UC Berkeley graduate
“Dr. Bradley mentioned that even just having lunch with a younger brother once a month or simply giving a hug to guys who need it the most can change their life. Dr. Bradley reminded me to practice being down to earth when it comes to building relationships with others and to dig deeper into building a closer relationship with my own father.” - Keisetsu Nakamura, senior at the New Jersey Institute of Technology
All speakers received some questions from the students right after their talk which created a space for engagement between them.
A few CARP members at Princeton University.
The day concluded with bonding amongst all the students. During dinner, many CARP members sat with some of the presenters and built more personal connections with them. Many participants mingled and networked with one another afterwards with several visiting the Princeton University campus.
To wrap up the experience, the CARP members gathered together on Sunday over breakfast to debrief about their experiences together. Many expressed that they felt revitalized in their mission from the content and meeting many like-minded students. Some said they already plan to come back to LFN’s conference next year and some wanted to encourage other CARP members to come as well. A desire for collaboration was also expressed, and some already planned to implement the content they learned in their CARP talks or invite the speakers to their campus impact events.
“Receiving logical information to back up the importance of sexual integrity and the importance of having a good relationship between parents and children was my highlight.” - Isaac Nitro, freshmen at the College of Southern Nevada
“... understanding the logical and academic support for our values is an invaluable asset for all [CARP] members. Because the culture on college campuses today is so heavily against true family values, being able to show that living by these values is empirically better would help us find more conviction in our beliefs and improve our ability to convey the importance of these values.” - Jonte Crawford, freshmen at the College of Southern Nevada
“I believe that while a large purpose for this conference is to continue to stand for marriage, family, and sexual integrity on college campuses, it's equally critical to fortify relationships with other like-minded groups to not only feel more empowered, but also to substantially show examples of a shift into this new culture.” - Junta Naito, UC Berkeley graduate
Overall, our students learned so much and made meaningful connections. During meals, breaks, and downtime, they reconnected with some friends from previous SIU conferences and former speakers at some of CARP’s campus events. Thank you so much to Alain Oliver, the Love & Fidelity Network team, and to all those who made this possible for our students!
Support more students to have these kinds of opportunities by donating to CARP’s End-of-Year Giving Campaign for Giving Tuesday on November 29th, via carplife.org/donate.
