Contributed by Mia Taguchi, CARP Las Vegas
Mia (fourth from the right) alongside fellow women leaders on the leadership training program, Generation Peace Academy, all of whom have since taken on leadership positions to help others grow their faith.
The disturbing reality of women and girls hit me hard this past summer. It was a reality I had known all too well for years, but it didn’t strike me how much worse it had gotten until the truth came to me in the form of a ten year old girl who professed so insistently to me, “I want to have a big butt.”
I was on a hike during a camping trip with some family friends when the ten year old girl I was looking after had stated this so matter-of-factly. Apparently, exercising to her was just a means to achieve the body she wanted. I was absolutely shocked; I couldn’t believe how someone so young could think in such a way. I asked her what made her come to this conclusion and was only more horrified when she simply responded with, “Tik Tok.” She went on to talk about how she needed to be “thicc” so that people would think she was attractive and I was again horrified that she even knew what “thicc” meant to begin with.
At the moment, I tried my best to convince her that no, she did not in fact need to have a big butt nor did she need to worry about being thought of as attractive in the first place. She wasn’t even in middle school yet! But unfortunately, it was clear that the world of social media had influenced her far beyond anything I could say to her then. I wasn’t going to convince her that she was beautiful the way that she was because she’s already made up in her mind what it looked like to be beautiful, and she didn’t fit that.
Afterwards, I couldn't help but keep asking myself, how did our society come to this? How is it that elementary school girls feel the need to worry about being curvy? We live in an age where women’s empowerment is constantly being praised and talked about; it’s all about “body positivity” and loving yourself. Yet at the same time, the age that girls are worrying about their appearance is getting younger and younger.
We fight for the right of women to have freedom over whatever decisions they make, but then find ourselves shocked at the fact that there are middle school girls talking freely about sex. On the other hand, we reprimand young girls for the clothes they wear and for sexualizing themselves, while failing to see that the sexualization of young girls happens far before they are even old enough to understand what it means to be sexualized.
Historically speaking, we live in a predominantly patriarchal country; men always had power and value, it took awhile for women to even come into the picture. Nowadays, women can vote, go to good colleges, work in high positions, and a multitude of other things that women were unable to do before. We are taking steps as a society to recognize the power and value of women too.
However, in this fight for women’s rights, there’s something missing: we’ve been empowering women only upon the standards of men. For so long, we, as women, have looked to men and thought “why can’t we do what they’re doing?” It’s gotten us far enough to be able to vote and work as men do, but it’s also brought us down in other ways; We’ve convinced ourselves that the sexual behaviors of men are worth imitating too. The Sexual Revolution of the 1960s, spurred on by the invention of contraceptives, impelled women to sexualize themselves underneath the guise of “my body, my choice.”
As a result, it’s also caused us to overlook the beauty of being a woman by demanding that women and men are the same.
We need to recognize that while men and women are of equal value, we are still different; women cannot look to men to understand what a woman is supposed to be like. God, our Heavenly Parent, created a divine nature in both man and woman that is unique to each. It’s not to say that women can’t have traditionally “masculine” qualities or vice versa, it simply means that there is a nature in women that is unique and beautiful to women and the same goes for men. Up until recently, women have been unable to recognize the beauty of women as there have mostly been only male figures to look up to in leadership.
Now, we are facing an age where women are rising up to the mantle in positions of leadership and power - we need to look to them as examples. We need to recognize and uplift the beautiful motherly nature that is innate in women and empower them to take pride in their ability to love and lead differently than men.
I look to Mother Teresa, a woman who’s impact on the world radiated beyond the places she traversed, all because her love was unimaginably forgiving and true. I look to Oprah, who’s heart to share the stories of others and give to those in need have made her one of the most influential women in this age. I look to Dr. Hak Ja Han Moon, co-founder of CARP, who’s heart to bring all of God’s children together has moved global leaders to unite upon the goal of world peace, despite their differences.
Women and men are created equal, but different, and there’s incredible power to that. We need to shed light on those differences so that women can thrive and be valued completely. We are not just women, we are mothers and daughters and sisters in this world who are divinely created. We need to recognize each other as such. And this goes for the relationship between men and women too.
Because the value of women is not fully seen and understood, men in this world are also unable to treat women properly. That isn’t to say that all men are terrible, but that so often in our society we point to men and admonish them for their actions, when the underlying problem is that our society has been unable to acknowledge the true value of women.
For the men reading this, I hope our culture can become one where the societal attitude towards women is one of brotherly and fatherly love that is pure and genuine. And for the women, I hope we can look to the women in our society that have paved the way for us to take pride in who we are as God’s daughters.
I look forward to the day when I no longer have to worry about reassuring a ten-year old girl that her value is not predicated on something as fragile as looks. The day every little girl can come to a place of knowing who they are as daughters of God - that’s when I know the women’s empowerment movement has done its job.
Discover and submit more Principled Perspectives at carplife.org/research.