Hi! My name is María Elena Barragan. I’m currently studying at Chabot College seeking to transfer to a four-year school, and my major is Aerospace Engineering. Besides that, I’m working full-time as a security guard at Pinterest and doing CARP part-time. I love studying about space and the universe, singing, going to the movies or the beach, and blogging online. I have three beautiful sisters who are my best friends :)
Before I met CARP Bay Area, I was lost and had no sense of what love truly is. I grew up in a very abusive/toxic household. My parents got divorced when I was six years old and I have been receiving therapy since then. I spent my early years surviving and keeping myself in a bubble for my own safety. Despite this, I always tried to find a way out and stayed strong and resilient and utilized all the resources at my schools through a specialized education program. I was basically raised by my sisters, counselors/therapists at school, and case managers. I knew in my heart that there was a Heavenly Parent because after my dad separated from my mom, he would take me to church; however, I was still hesitant, hurt, and very far from Him.
When I started college, I met Younng Joo Scharf and Karen Ishiguro and they introduced me to what CARP stands for and invited me to attend club meetings, Ignites and Unification Principle Seminars. All the lectures just connected to me in a way that my church from my childhood never did. When I first heard about the Fall (Chapter 2 of the Divine Principle), so many dots connected for me. I analyzed all the relationships I grew up with, especially my parents’. The Divine Principle gave me an outline of what love is and how it’s formed, how true heavenly families are made, and helped me finally get closer to God. I had so much resentment and fear thinking that love included conditions and abuse and that this was a reality I’d just have to accept. But I learned that there is another way and that love is unconditional and ever-growing and definitely does not include any sort of abuse. It impacted my whole view of life; it’s like everyone in CARP handmade a pair of love-glasses and gave them to me.
Now, I’m living in the CARP house and learning a lot more about the Divine Principle. I’m changing the trajectory of my lineage by healing all the generational traumas passed onto me and breaking the chain of pain and mental health illnesses within my family. I’m learning how to mature and heal myself. In my first CARP club meeting, everyone came up and greeted me and hugged me and physical touch scared the heck out of me!! I did not understand it. But now I’m hugging my sisters and learning how to love and be loved. From taking on small leadership roles here and there in seminars/retreats, to continuing to listen to lectures and having meaningful conversations with my CARP brothers and sisters—I am slowly becoming the person I’ve always wanted to be, the stable adult I’ve always longed to be, and growing to be the loving, caregiving daughter of God I was always meant to be.